Sunshine, Cocoons, & Lulabys.

knowing what I know now…

this is interseting:

In an old journal from January 2003 a short excerpt (now that we have been together almost 8 years) this is something I wrote after 8 months:

…and I feel as if I’ve always known you and loved you, even before I was me…when I was a soul without body.  I must have been tied to you, some how connected…when I met you I didn’t just feel a conection but I felt as if you knew me and in my soul I knew you…not your life or your experiances but the essance of you,and from then on I had to be close to you.  And my soul longs to be with yours.

I forgot that I even wrote that.

I love my dear Marshall.

Thinking about love … remembering the fall…

So anyway, yeah I’ve been thinking about love, my love (marshall) and when I fell for him, and he for me, remembering other types of loves and my newest most different love my Rowan girl.

But anyway it got me reminiscing, love… 2002 was the year we met and I was very into e.e. cummings, but turning through my dog eared book this is still one of my favorites:

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite a new thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you quite so new

brynabee:

Goat song needs to have three running plot-elements. It needs separate levels to keep it going. I want weird shit, like maybe the world outside is completely on fire, or maybe people are starting a street-level revolution.

1. Inner-dialogue, figuring shit out.

2. Kitchen dialogue with faun-humans, about their play.

3. Dorm room dialogue with other people, ???

Brynabee- I don’t really know what to say, but I want to say something.  I will tell you this:

Often, I dream of a revolution (what is it about I don’t know).  I am one of the leaders of the revolution as are many of US (the fam). Anyway we are living out HWY20 it is the future, but it is also the past.  Much of the war is played out in the acers behind our house.  There is a bar in the woods too, where revolutonaries meet (an old friend is the bar tender).  This dream is really long, detailed and complex.  Some times my dream picks up where it ledft off somtimes I am at the begining… I have been having for a few years now.  What does it mean? Who knows.  Is this relavent to your post? Not really.  But you mentioned revoultion and weird shit sooo, yeah there’s my weird revolution world on fire I will save us crazy shit.

love you.

brynabee:

I am inventing a new language.

In my new language, there are no words
like “miss” or “sorry” or even “love.”
In my new language, there are no words.

I have been screaming my new language
at everyone I know, and strangers, too.
It goes unheard, as they keep buzz buzzing
their old language and misinterpreting mine
for silence.

Sometimes I fear it will never catch on.
But right before I am about to give up
and retreat back into buzz buzzing,
I see my sister gazing at her daughter
asleep in the car seat.

she says more words in that moment
than I have ever known,
and it sounds just like silence.

I love this <3